


The Assistant

by CraftKookies



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, drugs and alcohol, pansexual female
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 05:54:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19000057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CraftKookies/pseuds/CraftKookies
Summary: For their first tour with Ozzy, Doc knows the Motley Crue band is going to be harder to handle than ever before; so he calls in a little help.





	1. Chapter 1

None of them could fucking believe it, but by some miracle they had actually gotten a record deal. When that dorky looking fuck in his stupid striped shirt had offered them the deal they were all (with the exception of Mick) so fucked up they thought they were hallucinating.

But the next day Tom showed up with papers, then money appeared in their lives, and at some point they all looked up and realized they were a legit recording studio...making a legit album.

Now they were standing on the block outside of their shitty apartment with their luggage, waiting for a tour bus to take them on their first ever tour with the fucking Prince of Darkness.

‘This shit is crazy!’ Tommy said, literally bouncing with energy.

‘I know, almost seems like it’s too good and this is gonna bite us in the ass.’ Mick deadpanned as he looked around.

‘I hate to sound old but I might have to agree with Mick, we can’t tour if they don’t show the fuck up with a bus.’ Vince said impatiently.

‘I think I see it dudes!’ Nikki shouted, pointing down the street.

Sure enough there it was, in all its glory with their name on the side of it. Coming down their street even honking the horn twice as if to announce it had arrived to make their lives fucking epic.

The bus pulled up and the doors swung open and there was Doc, just as rosy cheeked as he always was.

‘Dude what took so long?’ Vince asked.

‘Sorry we’re late, I had to pick up your surprise and she took a little longer than planned.’

‘She? Well Doc you shouldn’t have.’ the blonde grinned as he pushed his way onto the bus.

‘Well actua-’ the manager tried to say but was cut off by the others also moving past him.

They were all eager to see the bus, and more importantly the woman Doc had apparently gotten for them. The band was expecting a hot ass groupie, with fat tits, a big ass, too much make-up and not enough clothes.

Instead they found a girl in a pink floral sundress sitting in one of the seats, writing in what looked like a planner.

When they all came in she looked up and smiled, looking more bubbly than an actual bubble bath.

‘Hi!’ she smiled.

‘Hey.’ the band all said in unison.

‘Guys, this is my assistant (Y/N) she is touring with us.’

‘How is your assistant our surprise?’ Nikki asked.

‘Well she will be babysitting you of course.’ was the answer they got.

‘What?’ Tommy complained.

‘Not really a babysitter, we’re all adults here. Basically while Doc is making sure you guys have decent places to preform and that you get paid after I will make sure you all physically show up and are in a state to perform well.’ the girl, (Y/N) explained.

‘So...a babysitter?’ Mick sighed.

That was when (Y/N)’s eyes landed on Mick who was all the way in the back behind everyone, but once she had spotted him her eyes got all big.

‘Awww!’ she swooned, running through the younger three members of Motley Crue.

Mick’s eyes got wide as he watched in mild panic as he was literally charged by this strange woman.

Once she was right up to him he found himself trying to back away but it was too late, she was pinching his face.

‘Oh you are just the cutest thing in the world!’ she cooed as she squished his face, making all types of odd “Goo Goo” faces at him.

Mick looked over at Doc, his eyes begging for help.

‘(Y/N) let the man go.’ Doc sighed, stepping forward to pull the girl away from the guitarist.

‘But look at him and his cute little face.’ she pouts, pointing at Mick the way a child would point a toy they wanted for their birthday.

‘I know, he’s just the cutest.’ Doc said, rolling his eyes as he pulled her back to her seat.  
‘Um...what the fuck just happened?’ Nikki asked.

‘(Y/N) picked her tour baby like she always does, congratulations Mick. Look she is...a character but she takes her job seriously and she is the butter to my bread. She helps me make sure wild bands don’t get too crazy and forget that they to actually perform between the parties.’

‘Really, because so far all she’s done was be weird.’ Vince said looking at her with skepticism.

At that the girl finally took her eyes off Mick and seemed to remember what she was doing and why she was here.

‘I am sorry, I got a little carried away in the cuteness, but I can assure you I do take my job very serious. I will make sure you’re never a second late for any shows or interviews and that you never get kicked out of your hotels. I’ve helped Doc manage bands like KISS, Bon Jovi and Skid Row. He’ll make you the money and I’ll make sure you’re their to take it.’ she smiled.

They all looked at her for a moment still not too sure about her.

‘Look guys, like her or not she is coming with us.’ Doc said finally.

‘We are already behind schedule since I took so long double checking my luggage.’ (Y/N) said to Doc.

‘Better get a move on, go get their bags M.’ he said.

She went to get off the bus but Tommy stopped her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

‘You might be weird, but you can’t get our bags, they’re too heavy for you.’

At that she giggled before turning and looking over the band before she zeroed in on Nikki.

‘You look the heaviest.’ she hummed.

‘The fuck?’ the bassist asked in offense.

Instead of answering or explaining (Y/N) simply wrapped her arms around Nikki and lifted him off of his feet, holding the large man bridal style.

‘My dad is a body builder, I was raised in gyms.’ she grinned proudly.

Nikki was clutching onto the girl, partly trying not to fall and partly because he didn’t have the time to think to do anything else. All he knew was he had never felt less manly in his damn life.

(Y/N) finally set him on his feet and a long stunned silence fell over the bus as she went to pick up their bags from the sidewalk.

Motley Crue looked to their manager who looked back at them.

‘What the fuck man?’ Tommy asked.

‘I know she takes a minute to get used to but she does grow on you and she is good at her job.’ Doc assured. 

‘Do you expect us to deal with little miss bodybuilder on a bus for eighteen months?’ Vince asked.

‘Yes, I mean if you want the tour and the money we promised.’ Doc replied.

‘I can’t deal with this shit, I’m too fucking old.’ Mick grumbled. 

The conversation was paused when she got back on the bus with all their bags. 

‘Are y’all sure this is everything?’ she asked as she sat the luggage down.

They all gave nods and she told the driver to get a move on. 

Finally they had a moment to look around the bus they would be calling home for the foreseeable future.

‘This is sick!’ Tommy grinned as he went over to the bunk beds and put his bags under one.

The others followed his lead, putting away their things, Mick notes that it’s one of the nicest buses he’d ever sleep in.

Once they were all set they all slid into one of the booths and looked over to the booth in front of the bus where (Y/N) was sitting with Doc making plans and going over details.

‘What are we gonna do about her?’ Mick asked.

‘She’s your girlfriend cutie.’ the drummer teased only to suddenly wince as Mick kicked his shin under the table.

‘I don’t know dudes, I mean yeah she’s a weird ass but do we really wanna be running late for stadium shows on our first go around?’ Nikki said.

‘Do you really want her bossing us around, giving us bedtimes?’ Vince challenged.

‘Of course not but let’s give her a shot.’ the bassist suggests.

Tommy slid out of the booth and walked over to the girl.

‘Hey.’

‘Hi!’ she smiled.

‘So do you wanna drink with us on the first stop? Vince wants to stop by a strip club at every city.’ Tommy invited.

She looked ready to decline when Doc spoke for her.

‘She would love to, I will handle the reservation and I’ll have the keys ready at the when you all come back. You should get to know people you work with.’ he told her.

‘Alright, but I’m weird when I drink.’ she warned.

The drummer made a face before he went back to his band mates. 

‘She’s drinking with us.’ he informed.

‘Great.’ Mick sighed.

He was not looking forward to being gushed over.

The ride was pretty uneventful thankfully, the band spoke music and Doc and (Y/N) were making plans and reminiscing on old tours.

After a few hours they pulled into a hotel parking lot.

Everyone got their bags, declining (Y/N)’s offer to get it for them. As he had promised Doc had let them go once they had their things on a trolley.

‘Go on, have fun, you all have an interview tomorrow at two be ready by one.’ the manager said before he left.

‘Alright guys, strip club is this way I think.’ (Y/N) says as she begins walking.

‘How do you know where the the strip joint is?’ Vince asked as they followed.

‘You think you’re the first band to want to go to a strip club? I’ve been in this business long enough to know a thing a or two.’ she grinned as she lead the way.

Sure enough she had lead them to a strip joint, and they were seated pretty fast.

A stripper came and got their drink orders, Jack Daniels for the boys and some fruity ass rum drink for (Y/N).

Armed with booze they all zeroed in on the girl who was sipping her drink, looking around at the stripper in amusement.

‘So how did you get into the business? No offense but you don’t exactly look the part.’ Nikki asked.

She giggled.

‘Well it’s actually kind of funny. I was working at a record store in bum fuck nowhere Texas having a big argument with my manager because he forgot to get, the Black Sabbath Debut album. Then Black Sabbath just strolled in, but I was so lost in the argument I just didn’t see them and proceed to go fucking nuts.’ she laughed.

‘No fucking way.’ Tommy says, fully hooked on the story.

‘Yes, I start throwing the jazz section at my manager, because the asshole bought way too much jazz and barely kept any other genre stocked and I was sick of his shit. I turn and see Ozzy was also throwing things with me, high as fuck on who knows what. Manager fired me and called the cops so we all bailed and they offered me a job as a roadie. Eventually Doc found me and offered me a shit load of money to be his assistant.’ she finished.

‘That’s wild, maybe you are fit to be in this scene...still don’t look like it.’ Vince laughed.

‘I don’t do well in leather, I’ll leave that look for the performers.’

The more she spoke the more they seemed to like her, she was still weird as fuck, and kept trying to reach over to mess with Mick’s face.

And the more she drank the more she seemed to gush over everything, but still mostly Old Man Mick.

‘Ugh, why are you so god damn precious! I just wanna wrap you in a blanket and make sure you are safe and protect you!’ she rambled drunkenly.

Mick rose an eyebrow at her while his band mates laughed.

‘Why don’t you go get some water, we’re about to get lap dances.’ Vince recommends.

‘I want one too.’ she said before she called over a girl who was walking past their table.

‘Can we get a round of shots and five lap dances?’ she asked, reaching into her bra and pulling out a few hundred dollar bills.

‘We want your best, there is more where that came from.’ she smiled.

The stripper took the money and said she’d be back with her best girls then she left.

‘Holy shit.’ Nikki said in awe.

‘What, we are celebrating, and the interview isn’t til two so as long as you are all good by twelve we should be fine.’ she shrugged.

‘Dude, we are keeping you. You can wrap Mick in whatever fucking blankets you want.’ Nikki said as he watched five hot ass strippers walk up to the table.

They all get taken to the back room, apparently (Y/N) paid enough for VIP room and still had enough for all five girls. 

It was the richest shit they had ever experienced, but considering how broke they were this was probably not that impressive.

There were bottles of all kind of booze and nice chairs and the music wasn’t so painfully loud and they could speak without yelling.

Tommy, Vince, Nikki and (Y/N) all sat down and immediately got a lap full of strippers.

Mick just sat on the couch and snatched up a bottle of vodka, declining the blonde who was pressing up against him.

‘Not taking your dance man?’ Nikki asked as his girl pressed her tits against him.

‘Not my scene y’all know that.’

‘You paid for five baby.’ the girl in (Y/N)’s lap said.

‘I’ll take his!’ Vince volunteers.

The dances went on for a while and the drinks were flowing and they were all having a good time. 

One of the strippers poured a round of shots and Nikki whistled to get everyone’s attention.

‘Let’s all cheers to our first tour! To the Crue!’ he said raising his shot glass.

‘To the Crue!’ they all cheered as they threw back their shots.

‘I have to use the restroom, be back in a second, only three more rounds then we go back to the hotel okay boys.’ she said before she stood up and stumbled out of the VIP room.

Once she was gone Tommy called all the boys over to the table.

‘Under table?’ he asks.

‘No way, she don’t got the right pipes.’ Vince denied.

‘She’s got plumbing, I say we do it.’ Nikki agreed.

‘Two to one we win, hey ladies!’ Tommy called over the girls.

‘Hey ladies which one of you wants to show the lady with the big bills a good time?’ the drummer asked.

They all started volunteering and with gusto too, literally bouncing their tits in excitement.

‘You with the nice tits, under the table. When she sits down just...you know?’ Vince instructed.

Nikki and Tommy hold up two fingers and stick out their tongues in case to clarify what they wanted her to do.

The girl looks unsure, but sighs and crawls under the table and lets the cloth hide her.

‘For a strip club that was a decently clean bathroom.’ she said as she sat down.

They all started talking again, waiting for (Y/N) to suddenly jump up and freak out...but she didn’t. There was no pause or sudden jump or any change at all.

Just as they were beginning to think the girl wasn’t doing anything at all (Y/N) suddenly sighed very tiredly and stood up.

‘Alright that was our last round, time to get to the hotel.’ she said to them before she bent down and lifted the table cloth, revealing the stripper.

‘Hello there, I don’t mean to criticize darling, but you seemed a little...lost down there. How about I take you to my room and show how it’s really done.’ she smiled sweetly.

Everyone was flabbergasted as the stripper got from under the table and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

‘I charge.’ she said.

‘Trust me sweetheart , you’ll try to pay me when I’m done.’ (Y/N) grinned before she picked up the stripper, holding her as if she were a backward backpack.

‘Come on guys, this girl isn’t gonna eat herself out.’ the assistant said before she began to leave.

‘Did she just-’ Vince started.

‘GUYS! BRING YOUR ASSES, AND LEAVE THE GIRLS IF THEY CHARGE!’ (Y/N) yelled.

They all groaned as they got up and followed, Mick kept the bottle of vodka.

Walking behind (Y/N) they all watched her whisper things into the stripper’s ear that seems to be getting the working woman hot and bothered.

‘So she’s gay, that’s...something.’ Nikki said.

‘Yeah, thought for sure Mick was gonna finally get some.’ Vince said.

‘Fuck you.’ Mick said gruffly before he took a sip of vodka.

At last they reached the hotel and (Y/N) sat the girl down long enough to get their room, not that it mattered because at this point the girl was clinging to her side and kissing her neck.

She handed them all their room keys and they were all next to each other in one hallway.

‘I’ll be waking you up all in about six hours, sleep well. We’ll try not to be too loud but I make no promises.’ she grinned before she left with her girl.

They all waited until the two were on the elevator and the doors had closed before they went over to wait on the next one.

‘How is that we were supposed to be celebrating OUR tour and SHE is the one getting laid tonight?’ Vince asked.

‘People with cash get ass, the broke have a chicken to choke.’ Mick answered before the elevator door opened.

Revealing (Y/N) and the stripper, which would have been fine if they weren’t in such a compromising position.

The stripper had both her legs on (Y/N)’s shoulders and the assistant was standing straight up, holding her up as she ate her out.

‘Oh my fucking God!’ Tommy gasped.

‘Some privacy?’ the stripper asked, looking at them like they were rude for the disturbing her while she was clearly in the middle of something.

‘I don’t have time for this.’ Mick sighed as he got in the elevator.

His presence was enough to make the assistant pull away from what she was doing but not enough for her to put the other woman down.

‘Sorry Mickey. Guys get in let’s all get to the rooms.’ she said before getting back to work.

The hoisted up stripper let out a long moan as she ran her fingers through (Y/N)’s hair.

‘Uh…’ Nikki said dumbly as none of them were sure if they should get on.

‘Hurry up!’ Mick snapped as he hit the button for their floor.

Quickly the other band members got in before the doors closed.

To say it was a long ride would be a MASSIVE understatement, the stripper kept moaning and would occasionally grip Vince’s shoulder.

Finally the elevator dinged and their assistant hurried off to her room, the stripper holding is as best she could to not fall as she was carried.

Motley Crue followed after and Mick immediately headed for his room which was furthest from (Y/N)’s.

‘Lucky bastard.’ Nikki whines as he unlocked his room next to hers.

‘What are you talking about it’s gonna be awesome, like listening to the radio but instead of music it’s lesbian sex!’ Tommy bounced as he went into his room. 

‘Pig.’ Vince laughed as he went into his room.

Nikki sighed and went into his own and already he could her the soft moans through the this walls.

He tried to ignore them as he got undressed for bed and laid down on the mattress.

Then the moans got louder and he began to hear the unmistakable sound of a headboard hitting against the wall.

Before he knew it Nikki felt his cock begin to swell then the moans grew into screams of pure ecstasy.

‘Oh fuck! Oh fuck!’ he heard the stripper cried out

He didn’t mean to, he honestly hadn’t even noticed he was doing it until he was already jacking off.

God what the hell was wrong with him, listening to lesbian sex through hotel walls while he touches himself? Is that the kind of person he was going to be?

*THE NEXT DAY*

Turns out he was the type of person who gets off to listening to lesbian sex in the next room and even after they had “finished” (after like four rounds) Nikki couldn’t let himself sleep.

He was so disgusted and disappointed in himself he didn’t deserve a peaceful night of sleep, he deserved to be tired as fuck and to look hideous during their first interview.

So he didn’t complain nearly as much as his band mates when right at twelve (Y/N) started beating on their doors and yelling at them to get in the shower and get dressed in casual wear.

Finally they were all in the elevator on their way to the lobby.

‘Dude did you hear them last night? Hottest shit ever!’ Tommy said, hitting Nikki’s shoulder.

‘How could I not.’ the bassist replied turning away to avoid continuing the conversation, but he did feel a tad better knowing he wasn’t the only fucking perv in the band.

‘That was your idea of hot? I was blue balled so damn hard I thought I would die.’ Vince complained.

At last the elevator doors opened and they found (Y/N) and Doc waiting for them in the lobby.

‘Hey so...about last night.’ she blushed.

‘It was sick! We didn’t know you were a lesbian, it’s totally cool if that’s what you were worried about.’ Tommy smiled.

‘Well, that’s the thing...I’m actually not a lesbian. I was drunk and when I drink I just...it won’t happen again. I just wanted to apologize if I made any of you uncomfortable and that you saw me behave so unprofessionally.’

‘Wait so you are not a-’ Vince starts to ask.

‘It doesn’t matter what I am, we need to put some food in you boys. There is a diner around the corner.’ (Y/N) interrupts before she turned and walked away.

They all follow and Doc takes the moment to try and explain a few things.

‘She isn’t too big on labels, she just...likes sex.’ he said.

‘Sick! You still got a chance old man.’ Vince teased.

Mick elbows the singer in the chest, effectively knocking the wind out of him.

Once they were at the diner(Y/N) got them a booth and pulled Mick to sit next to her.

‘So I’m getting you pancakes with the turkey sausage, sunny side up eggs hash browns and an orange juice.’ she said while everyone else sat down.

‘What about us?’ Nikki asked.

‘You can order for yourselves.’ she shrugged.

‘So can Mick.’ Vince argues.

‘But he is cute.’

‘I what fucking world is he cuter than me?’

‘Well for starters he doesn’t run around looking for women to screw all day he also big blue eyes and shaggy black hair like little puppy.’ (Y/N) said, pinching at Mick’s cheek.

‘So what! Tommy has black hair and is the human version of a puppy.’ 

‘Tommy is too tall for me to call him cute, you and Nikki are too sexual to be called cute. Therefore Mick is the cutest and most precious.’ she said, placing her hand on the table.

‘Sexual?’ Nikki asked with a grin.

Vince and (Y/N) continue to debate on the who the cutest member of the band was, somehow dragging Nikki and Tommy into it as well; meanwhile Mick said nothing. 

Finally the waitress came and (Y/N) ordered for herself and Mick and the others ordered for themselves.

‘Whatever, who cares what you have to say. I know I’m the cutest.’ Vince huffed.

‘I don’t know, Tommy is a tall skinny puppy man.’ Nikki said.

‘I am not cute...I'm handsome.’ the youngest whined.

‘I agree, and so are Nikki and Vince. You are all handsome and independent men.’ she said.

‘And I am?’ Mick asked.

‘My most precious darling in all the world.’ she said without hesitation as the waitress came back with the food.

Mick reached for the salt but his hand was slapped away.

‘No salt, I ordered you a healthy breakfast and you will not ruin it with cholesterol and sodium.’ (Y/N) scolded as she took the salt from him.

Doc then reached for it only to also be popped.

‘And what did your doctor say? I saw how you shredded it in the office, but I see every sheet of paper with your name on it before you Doc.’ she said before she reached over and took the bacon off his plate and gave it to Tommy.

‘Dammit.’ their manager sighed.

‘Uh huh, get the pepper it’s healthier.’

‘Yeah guys you gotta treat your bodies right.’ Tommy teased his elders as he at the bacon.

‘And you chicken legs need to thicken up, starting tomorrow I’m putting you on a protein rich diet. Vince I’m also going to have you cut back on the booze and cigarettes, it ruins the vocal cords over time and Nikki you are in the same boat as him. Half a pack a day between the two of you and that’s final and no more than two drinks before a show.’

The rest of breakfast and the whole ride to the interview was full of complaints and bargaining, but (Y/N) wouldn’t budge and Doc wouldn’t help either, partly because he was also in the shit house.

At last they were at the stadium where they would perform in three days.

They were lead to their dressing rooms by a techie and they were informed that the interview would be happening in Vince’s s room.

(Y/N) and Doc went about going over the interviewer's question list while the band was being informed on what words they could not use on camera as the make up artists fixed them up in Tommy's room.

Doc cut out some question that he knew would make the band look bad or that he suspected would upset the boys.

The interviewer was having none of it, fighting tooth and nail the second she saw all the questions being crossed out.

‘No! I need to ask all these questions, these are the answers our demographic want.’ she argued.

‘Well you are out of luck, if you want this exclusive first time interview with this underdog band then you will only ask questions we agree to.’ Doc said.

‘Don’t get too cocky, we were doing you a favor with this interview. No one knows this ridiculous rock band and no one will without OUR interview.’ the woman scoffed just as the band had poured into the room.

Only hearing the last part Nikki was already puffing up and getting ready to lay into this woman but someone else neat him to it.

(Y/N) pushed Doc back and stood between the interviewer and her boss.

‘Firstly you will not disrespect these boys, they worked too hard to get here. Secondly WE are doing YOU a favor with this interview. Despite what you think Motley Crue has an underground audience and through nothing but hard work and word of mouth they took over the sunset strip with no label backing them and NOW they are on tour with FUCKING OZZY OSBOURNE!’ she shouted making the other woman jump back a bit.

‘How many other TV stations do you think want to be the first to interview these underground heroes? If you want that spot then you will ask the questions we fucking approved and you will apologize to them before you ask them any damn thing.’ (Y/N) seethed in anger.

The interview lady looked more like pup with her tail between her legs than a woman who had slept her way to her top interviewer position.

‘Say fucking sorry!’ (Y/N) snapped.

‘I ahem-I am sorry for insulting you all, and disrespecting your band and hard work.’ the woman squeaked out.

‘You boys good?’ Doc asked.

Mick, Vince and Tommy nodded but Nikki was still looking at the woman in distaste.

‘Nikki.’ Tommy nudged.

‘Fine, we’re already fucking here, but I don’t want to interview with your company again after this.’

‘Noted.’ (Y/N) agreed.

The interview was done and by some miracle it went well, the boys were even charming in the way they answered. Their responses along with their looks would no doubt get a lot of women into them...men too. 

Once the interview was done they quickly dropped the facade and everyone went to to part ways but not before the interviewer pulled (Y/N) to the side while some techies removed the mics from the band.

‘I am sorry for disrespecting them, I genuinely am especially after speaking with them. I understand them not wanting to work with my station after how I behaved, but I hope I can see you again...outside of work.’

The woman was whispering but Nikki had started listening the second he heard the word “sorry” and he was shocked with where the conversation was going.

‘Sorry darling, under different circumstances I’d fuck you until it hurt, but you did speak ill of my boys. I can’t lay with enemies.’ (Y/N) declined before she stepped away and told the boys to hurry up get to the car.

They all followed behind her and Doc, Nikki being the last one out.

He looked over at the woman who was looking very rejected and grinned.

‘Sucks when you fuck yourself out of a good fuck doesn’t it?’ he grinned.

The woman scoffed as she put a hand on her hip.

‘Not like you could get her.’ she said back.

Nikki just flipped her off and left, but it was too late, that bitch had placed an idea in his mind.

Could he get (Y/N)?


	2. Chapter 2

After the incident with their first interview, Motley Crue had collectively gained a great deal of respect for (Y/N). They also learned that she was VERY good at her job, she got them wherever they needed to be by any means. If that meant carrying a passed out Nikki on her back while dragging an equally passed out Tommy then so be it.

Individually they all built their own relationships with her.

Vince and (Y/N) seemed to always be butting heads which always boiled down to Vince wanting to do a thing and her telling him no. There was even an incident when Vince had enlisted the help of Nikki and Tommy to distract her while he had a secret orgy (which would have worked had she not heard three girls giggling about it in the restroom) and he thought he got away with it. Until (Y/N) burst in and threw out all ten girls and took all of his, Tommy’s and Nikki’s cigarettes for trying to trick her.

Tommy seemed to think of her as an older sister, always making jokes or throwing little things at her from across the room. He would pout, whine and complain when (Y/N) would make him drink these horrible disgusting protein shakes for breakfast everyday.

Mick had eventually stopped looking so constipated when she would coddle and baby him, and secretly all his bandmates knew why. Even though they didn’t think he was the “cutest” member, they all knew that if any of them deserved to be treated well it was Mick. Especially after that piece of shit girlfriend (The Thing as they called her) treated him so awful. The guitarist didn’t even live with them but no one could tell since The Thing was always kicking him out after kicking his ass.

No one spoke it out loud, but the rest of the band hoped being treated nicely for once would make him realize he deserved and could do better than the bitch that kept hitting him.

Then there was Nikki who seemed to be a blend of everyone else’s feelings topped with his own confused emotion toward their babysitter.

Like Vince he didn’t like being bossed around, he also respected her and enjoyed teasing her with Tommy and liked having someone give a shit about him and his well being like Mick.

Yet, he couldn’t forget the sound of her moans through the hotel walls, and he’d always notice when the wind would blow and make her sundress raise a bit. He’d find himself almost praying the wind would grow strong enough to raise it higher like Marilyn Monroe, but God either wasn’t real or just not on his side.

Even when he was banging groupies he wasn’t thinking about the girl under him, he was thinking about her and how much better it would if he was with her. 

Nikki was surprised none of the guys had pulled him aside to tell him not to shit in his own yard, he shouldn’t be mixing personal shit with band shit. 

Relationships and feelings set aside there was one thing that the entire band agreed on.

(Y/N) was AMAZING at her job.

She got them everywhere on time, made sure they were clean, fed and sobered up for every interview, show or signing. And she was quick to come to their defense when their antics was about to get them kicked out of places. Like the time Nikki smashed all the lights in the hall with his bass and she personally put in bulbs and ordered new lamp covers.

And then it happened.

Despite Doc’s best efforts and all the meticulous planning of Ozzy’s tour manager it finally happened. Ozzy had been kicked out of and banned from every hotel in Florida...except one.

So now the Prince of Darkness was staying in the same hotel as the Children of the Beast.

And the only person more excited than the band members was (Y/N) who was currently bouncing waiting for Ozzy’s bus to pull up.

‘Calm down, they’re on the way...God help us.’ Doc mumbled.

‘I haven’t seen my son in so long!’ she whined.

‘Son?’ Nikki asked.

‘Ozzy. I’ve adopted in every way except legally.’ she said.

Then the bus finally arrived and you would think (Y/N) was just another fan.

‘Yay!’ she cheered, jumping up and down.

The doors opened and there stood Ozzy in a big fur coat in all his legendary glory.

‘Where’s my M?’ 

‘Here!’ she shouted.

Ozzy let out a mad man laugh as he came off the bus and picked the girl up.

‘Ah! I missed you so much! You never visit anymore!’ he said as he sat her down.

‘I know, I’m sorry I’m in high demand these days, always on the go.’ she said before she picked him up, making the singer laugh.

‘Just as strong as I remember M. Go on get me bags off da bus while I mingle wit da kids. I’m gon take em’ round town.’ Ozzy slurred waving toward the bus.

‘Ah ah Ozzy, lemme check you first, you know the drill.’ she said with her hands on her hips.

‘Aw M are you really going to do this to me this early love.’ he complained.

‘Sorry Oz, but these boys have the combined common sense of your left nut and we don’t need the trouble. Arms out feet spread, business as usual darling.’ she said.

Motley Crue and management watched as (Y/N) frisked Ozzy and pulled an honestly alarming amount of drugs from his pockets and boots.

‘There now you can all meet my boy Ozzy.’

‘Dude, its literally a huge honor, Black Sabbath was best with you as the lead man.’ Vince said.

‘That’s what I told em. Come on lot let's tear this town a new shit hole.’ he said as he walked down the street, not bothering to see (Y/N) get his bags.

Once they were a good way away from the hotel Ozzy motion to Mick to come closer.

‘She is a good girl...but so small minded.’ Ozzy said before reaching into the front of his pants and pulling out a ziplock bag of coke.

‘Dude! How did I not think to hide my shit there!?’ Vince laughed.

Oh yeah Ozzy Osbourne and Motley Crue was a toxic mix, they now had a mentor in all things drugs, sex, and stupidity.

Former Black Sabbath frontman would get Motley Crue drugs and girls all the while egging them on to do dumber shit that would no doubt get him in trouble.

(Y/N) seemed to be the only one who could tell Ozzy when it was time to end the party, no matter how high he was he never gave the assistant any fuss when she came to pull him away. 

Then she would do her best to detox him and tuck him in like a gentle mother would her darling boy, then she would take Mick and let him fall asleep holding his liquor bottle and give him the same motherly treatment before taking on her drill sergeant persona to get Nikki, Tommy and Vince to their rooms.

It was while high as hell Nikki realized that his new attraction to his assistant was going past casual perversion and getting to be a full blown issue that he needed drugs to distract him.

With Ozzy running around and Motley Crue running behind him (Y/N) was working overtime, between trying to keep them out of jail and coddling her two babies Ozzy and Mick she seemed not to have a single moment to herself.

Feeling absolute pity for his assistant Doc decided to give the poor girl a day off.

‘No Doc, I’m really good, these idiots need to be supervised.’ she said before letting out a big yawn.

‘You aren’t good, last night I saw you fall asleep on Tommy while frisking him. Take a day, go get pampered, take a nap, get laid. Just get away from these stupid shits for twenty four hours.’ Doc ordered.

‘Fine, I’ll go but don’t let them get out of control Doc.’ she said before she headed back up to her room to sleep for a minute.

In less than an hour Ozzy had stolen some pour old woman’s bag and put on her dress, then proceeded to flash hotel residents with a dollar bill in his ass. 

His wild antics greatly amused Motley Crue.

Then after he gave them some of his drugged filled advise before snorting a line of fire ants and licked up puddles of his and Nikki’s urine.

Doc was going to have a day full of hell and apologizing.

But for (Y/N) it was going to be a great day, well half day after she slept six hours.

When she woke up she put on a light purple dress and her favorite pair of white flats before heading out. She wanted to go to a book shop/cafe she had heard some locals talking about yesterday, then she’d stop by a record store and get a few Motley Records for her parents to add to their collection.

Once the elevator hit the lobby she immediately wanted to cancel her plans.

Doc and the Crue were at the front desk, her boss seemed to be apologizing for something.

‘What happened?’ she asked as she approached.

‘Nothing!’ they all yelled.

(Y/N)’s face went cross as she pushed her to the front desk and elbowed Doc out of the way.

‘Hi there May, what did they do?’ she asked politely, reading the woman’s nametag.

‘Well, they along with Mr. Osburne publicly exposed themselves and urinated by the pool before Mr. Osburne drank the mess they made.’ the woman explained.

‘Are you kidding me?’ she asked before looking back at the band, who in turn looked away like a group of children who had broken the mean neighbor’s window.

She sighed and apologized.

‘I do deeply apologize for their quite frankly disgusting behavior, and I am so grateful that you didn’t immediately call the police when you had plenty reason to.’ she said sweetly as she reached to touch the woman’s hand.

‘I can assure they will pay to have your entire pool area steam cleaned from their royalties and just to personally apologize to you for being the poor staffer responsible for dealing with this issue how about I take you to dinner?’ she smiled.

Poor little hotel manager May blushed at the blunt flirtation being thrown her way by another woman.

‘Um...I shouldn’t.’ she said meekly.

(Y/N) smiled and leaned all the way over the counter (giving Nikki a good look at her ass) and whispered into the woman’s ear that turned the woman into a blushing mess.

‘I-If you insist ma’am.’ May squeaked, biting her lip in excitement.

‘Great, I’ll meet you here at ten, sans underwear.’ (Y/N) grinned before turning and grabbing both Nikki and Dock by their ears like children and dragging them out of the hotel, the others followed like puppies.

‘Ow!’ Nikki complained once she finally let them go.

‘I know you were in on the piss party, only you are that weak to peer pressure. Doc you told me I’d have the day off, twenty four hours you said, now I’m gonna have to fuck some innocent little bi-curious girl tonight! Just so we don’t get kicked out and end up crashing on the bus for the next four damn nights!’ she said angrily.

‘Sorry! I just went up to my room to make a call.’ Doc said.

‘Ugh, go get a cleaning service here, I’m going to go out as I planned.’ she huffed, hiking up her purse on her shoulder.

‘And us?’ Tommy asked.

‘With me, leaving you idiots alone was a dumb idea, the only one with any common sense is Mick, honestly one more reason he’s my favorite. As for you three little shits, no touching anything, no fucking talking; just stay in my direct line of sight and say nothing.’ she rapid fire leaving no room for any discussion.

‘Yes ma’am they all said before Doc left.

She turned and began walking down the street and they all knew to follow her; so far this was the angriest they had ever seen her (which to Nikki was kinda hot) and she hadn’t even dealt out punishment yet.

They followed her into a cafe/bookshop and they wanted to leave before they even entered, they stood out like a sore thumb. All their leather and teased hair surrounded by hippie freaks in bell bottoms and in door sunglasses.

‘Sit here, touch nothing speak to no one.’ she ordered.

(Y/N) walked over to the counter and ordered leaving the band to whisper among themselves.

‘We are so fucked.’ Vince said.

‘Toatally, she is gonna take all our drugs and flush em no doubt.’ Tommy agreed.

‘She’s gonna kill me.’ Nikki sighed.

‘Well you did piss in front of several families then attempt to lick it up...you disgusting animal.’ Mick spoke, not bothering to whisper.

(Y/N) returned and place a cup of tea in front of the guitarist.

‘It’s healing tea, the cashier says its good for the joints so I bought ten boxes for you, you sit here and enjoy your tea while I shop around OK?’ she said sweetly.

‘Yeah, thanks.’ Mick said as he picked up the tea.

‘You’re welcome, and just so you know that girl in the corner has been eyeing you since you walked in, do what you want with that information.’ (Y/N) said before heading off to look around.

The boys all turn and see a cute red head with thick black framed glasses in a too big grey sweater and jeans looking over at them, Mick specifically, but she blushed and looked away when they caught her.

‘It’s not fair, we’re in the shit while the old man gets tea and chicks.’ Vince complains.

‘Well duh he’s her favorite.’ Nikki said.

‘Has it’s perks.’ Mick shrugged, sipping his tea, hiding a smirk behind the mug.

‘She’s turning you into a spoiled brat Mick.’ the lead singer hissed.

‘You mean she treats you like misbehaving brats?’

‘I could have sworn I said no talking.’ (Y/N) said as she walked by, effectively shutting them up.

They all sat in annoying silence while she shopped around, in the end she got a trilogy of books, Mick’s ten boxes of tea and a few souvenirs for her family. 

Of course Nikki got to carry the bags.

‘Now on to the record shop.’ she said as she began to walk down the sidewalk.

‘(Y/N)? Is that you?’

They all turn and see a guy with long brown hair and a three inch beard in the ugliest brown shirt anyone’s ever seen was looking at them from across the street.

Then suddenly she stopped and backed up, pulling the boys with her into fabric shop.

‘Shit!’ she hissed as she ran to the back.

‘Cover for me!’ she yelled before she vanished.

Before they could ask any of the twenty questions they had the door of the fabric shop opened and there was the guy.

‘Um howdy fellas did y’all see a girl bout this big? (Y/H/C) hair, cutest little thing ya ever saw?’ he asked with WAY too much pep for him to be talking to strangers.

‘No.’ Mick answered.

‘Really? I could’ve sworn I saw her with you, you are definitely her type of crowd.’ the guy said on confusion.

‘It’s just us dude, maybe your girl walked past us.’ Tommy suggested.

‘Aw dang! Maybe you’re right, thanks man.’ the guy said before he left.

The band watched through the glass door as he ran into another shop.

‘You can come out now.’ Vince called back.

‘Did he leave?’ she asked from behind a rack of pink fabrics.

‘Yeah, who was that?’ Tommy asked. 

‘Ugh the biggest drunken mistake I ever made. Slept with him once on my first go round with Black Sabbath, then he started calling the hotels and then he looked up my home phone number. I dodge him every time I come here, can’t believe I fucked him, worse sex ever.’ she said.

‘Neither can we, I’m not into dudes at all but he is…’ Vince trailed off.

‘The creepiest thing you’ve seen out of a horror movie? I know.’

‘Are gonna buy anything?’ the guy at the register asked.

‘Oh sorry, let me look around, you boys keep look out.’

She roamed around picking out a pink fabric with white polka dots.

‘I haven’t sewn anything in a while...do I even have needles?’ she said to herself.

Nikki was looking at her while she moved around, letting the other guys keep their eye out for the creepy guy.

The dude was sketchy no doubt, but he was right about one thing. Looking at (Y/N) in her purple dress she was the cutest thing he ever saw.

She was looking at some sewing kits when she looked up at one that was on the top shelf, he saw her struggle to reach for it but she couldn’t get it without dropping the other things she had picked up.

Nikki walked over and grabbed it.

‘Here.’ 

‘Thanks.’ she smiled up at him.

Owch, what was that sharp feeling in his chest? He wasn’t high right now, so he couldn’t be overdosing.

He looked back at her while she inspected the contents of the sewing kit and the feeling hit him again. What the hell?

‘I’ll take these.’ she said as she placed her things on the counter.

The dude rung her up and she paid.

‘That creepy fuck is still out there, he’s checking each shop...pathetic’ Mick said.

‘Shit.’ (Y/N) whined.

‘Do you want to use the back door?’ the employee offered.

‘Oh my God yes, please if you could.’ she smiled thankfully.

He lead them to the back and (Y/N) thanked him again and have him ten dollars.

‘OK, I am not risking bumping into him again, straight back to the hotel.’ she said.

They made it back to the hotel and (Y/N) sent a wink to the desk lady.

She personally lead each member to their room and told each of them not to come out and that she didn’t want to hear a sound from either of them.

Last to be put into his room was Nikki.

(Y/N) took her bags from him.

‘Not a sound, no music either, nothing that any other guest would complain about. We can’t get pout out of this hotel, the label is already barely giving us a decent budget.’ she warned.

‘Fine.’ he said.

He wished like hell he had some type of drug or at least booze in his system right now, he didn’t know how to talk to people without it.

‘Oh and I got you this, thought you would like it.’ she said handing him one of the three books she’d bought today.

‘Hammer of the Gods.’ he read.

‘Seemed like you’re kind of thing.’ she said.

‘Thanks, It’ll give me something to do when you take all my drugs, booze and girls.’

‘Exactly, now to your room, and remember no noise.’ 

That made him roll his eyes as he entered his room, but the second the door was closed a big smile crossed his face and held the book to his chest.

She thought about him...and then she spent money on him.


End file.
